Cancerous Child

October 20, 2011

It all started back a while
When I was just a child
Dancing, laughing
Learning, growing
Was what my life was about
I would go to schoo
Where things weren’t very coo
Then there was karate work
Followed by the swimming stroke
Then everything had to change
Nothing would ever be the same
I knew things were bad before then
But not as bad as they would end
It all started with the back pains
Then yelling to go eat
Followed by the many car lights
Illuminating our lane
Heading down the freeway
Our destination was nothing more than the emergency entrance
Where everything would be in a trance
When we heard the news
My life would then end
Not fast
But slowly
Taking its time
Making it last
Wanting nothing more then for it to end
Knowing better that it will always be there
Followed were the;
Blood drains
Spill stains
Needles in my skin
Surgeries every week
Making my body grow weak
The wheelchairs
Many hibernating days
Beatings at home
Everything going wrong
My mom being called a whore
When Carlos arrived from work
Hating life
For everything that it had caused
And for my bad life
I wanted nothing more
Than to be happy
Like every other kid.
Later came the divorce
Where my stage made everything worse
I wasn’t a child anymore
Instead an experiment
Where things could always go wrong
Soon after we moved
And took a different name
Trying to head a different way
While becoming someone new
If it hadn’t been for me
Nothing would’ve changed
I would now be the same
Instead life lead me
Through the cancerous path
Where I became a cancerous child
Carrying bad luck
And forever will hate my life
Because a cancerous child
Will never be loved
Because a cancerous child
Will always make mistakes
Because a cancerous child
Will always complain
Of the constant pains
Because a cancerous child
Will always be hated
Because a cancerous child
Will never be understood
Because a cancerous child
Will always be an outsider
Because a cancerous child
Is too hard to take care of
Because a cancerous child
Will never be what a parent wants
Because a cancerous child
Is the life that I lead
Because a cancerous child
Is what I will always be.

Karina Lucas Fernandez